1. A "real", life-sized R2-D2 that roamed about amusing the crowd, attracting even MORE unnecessary attention to the STAR WARS "mini-con"!

2. Giovanni Ribisi speaking on a panel about "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" with Jude Law and Ling Bai (who's she??! Who cares! She had FABULOUS earrings!). Poor (and very cute, I may add) Ribisi had to sit still the whole time as one too many fans were offered the chance to ask questions... mostly directed to Mr. Law (ugh!).

3. Countless half-naked women roaming about wearing nothing but a corporate logo over their well-endowed privates! (Hey! How come guys can't do this?! Oh, the injustice...)

4. Fashionable Indie-hipsters battle geek-chic nerdlingers! No, really! Tiny buttons were for sale everywhere and were donned by both attendees and exhibitors!

6. Imperial troops intimidating young padawans (ed: is that legal?).

6. Comic-Con is no longer comics. It's a franchise fiesta containing American sized portions of:

a. Movies (Lord of the Rings and Star Wars in particular had booths large enough to house their own "mini-conventions")
b. Games (OH YES! ...just like Pokemon, BUT WORSE!!)
c. "Anything Japanese". This includes manga and animation and anything resembling "Hello Kitty!" I couldn't turn a corner without knocking into a table chocked full of "Irresistable Strawberry Fun!" (ed: ahem, that's "Happy No Shocking Strawberry Chaos"...)
d. Art. Not just comic art anymore! Now Comic-Con has booths of independent artists... some of which have no relation to actual comics at all (gasp)!! Artists span the horizon from music posters, toy design, animation, fine art, or just about anything you can put a mark on!
e. Education. Don't go to school! Drop out and opt to go to next year's convention! Or if you're not in school anymore and have found yourself stuck in a nowhere job, like me... QUIT! Why? Because here you can learn all the inside trade secrets from various lectures on how to start your own comic or movie! A great way to hassle professionals until you're blue in the face (...or go the easy route and just sleep with 'em)!

7. A poor, brain-washed child dressed to match his parents as Klingon Warriors!! (...a sad sight indeed!)

18. Sarah Michelle Gellar's answer to almost any question:

"Because it's about a strong woman taking control and being a positive role model and strong willed and strong. Did I mention that anything I do is because I like strong women. I mean strong! OK? Thanks." And if one more person said, "Buffy is my hero!" I was going to implode spontaneously and take out the whole convention with me.

9. Medieval warriors (men and women)! OK... there aren't there Renaissance Fairs for this nonsense??!

10. Most popular accessory at the show? The Wonder Woman crown. Thanks to D.C. Comics for letting literally thousands of people walk around with a paper tiara on their heads! No one was safe: men and women - young and old! Way too many people were trying their best to be a princess!! (At least D.C. got to reinforce their status as an equal opportunity employer!)

12. Spoke to sound editor on Boo and Cemetary Gates who was kind enough to give me an exclusive press kit. I got a sneak peak at the hideous deformed Tazmanian Devil creature from Cemetary Gates! ...and got to see an actual full-sized werewolf from Dog Soldiers!

11. Neil Gaiman (best-selling author) and Dave McKean (best-selling illustrator) agreed to being the new Odd Couple as they continue to work on their movie project, Mirrormask. Dave came across as a grumpy, bearded grizzly bear who likes to work in organized, warm, well-lit places, while Mr. Gaiman professed he thrives in chaotic, dark and cold environments (preferably a basement of some sort)? Ahhh, whatever guys... In addition to hearing all the sordid details, some clips from their film were debuted, including a haunting scene in which the heroine is serenaded by what look to be several of some kind of twisted lady version of a "Jack-In-the-Box". The song is an incredibly bizarre rendition of "Close To You" that sounds like someone raking nails across a chalkboard.

13. Almost crushed to death by zit-covered nerds when all 500,000 folks stampeded a tiny entrance to get a goodie bag for The Grudge and Sky Captain. You had to tempt fate TWICE in order to get both goodie bags, as they would only let you get one at at time. Bitches!

16. Got to meet artist Mark Ryden and have him sign a copy of his new book Blood. Yeah! Also witnessed first-hand the audacity of some people as a single person had him sign 15 books! I mean, really. Every single one is for his best, closest E-bay friend... I'm sure. Perhaps I can sell mine and retire?

17. Saw Daisy Duke, live and in person as she sat very lonely behind a folding table, waiting for someone to buy a T-shirt with her Dukes of Hazzard picture on it! Sad folks... pretty sad. But not as sad as seeing what Marc Singer (the Beastmaster) looks like today - YIKES! It's a California Raisin! (ed: Oh, god...)

18. Almost turned to stone when sighting Corey Feldman AND Corey Haim while they were interviewed for some upcoming special edition and boxed set DVDs, including The Lost Boys!!

End Chuckie Transmission.